Lauren Jane Bailey

Date & Time by Phil Kaye

An Analysis on Repetition


    I cry when I read. Date & Time was so exception. It certainly did not disappoint. The thing about poetry, is that is puts into words every emotion you are feeling in that moment. It expresses a fundamental, deep human longing to be known, and heard, and seen, and most importantly, to be loved. Phil Kaye interacts with the struggle between time and truly our infinite beings. We are hurt by time and its jagged passing, and yet we are constantly holding onto it and praying that it does not leave and expecting that it will not hurt us, even though it always does. Let me explain: I cried when I read Repetition. The words, the spacing, and the punctuation Kaye used, struck an emotion so deep within me, that I did not even know I was feeling it until I read what my heart was unable to communicate, until I saw it written down on paper. While reading the first third of this catalogue of poetry, one main theme continued to present itself to me, and it was the idea of loneliness. 

I have always characterized myself as an introvert, someone who enjoys and more often than not, prefers spending time alone. Yet, simultaneously, it is during the time when I am alone and quiet and still, that I get trapped in the dark, overwhelming, and often scary space of my own head. Now more than ever, I have been at war with the constant internal struggle of dealing with loneliness and consequently a cocktail of other emotions (often including but not limited to: disappointment, anxiety, sadness, frustration, jealousy etc). 

The truth about loneliness, is that it brings a person to their most vulnerable state — what happens next is entirely up to you. It can either break you or refine you. It can destroy you or be the foundation for deep personal flourishing. In a state of total weakness, you can either hide away and let yourself be crippled or you can decide to let time run its course with its sharp edges and eventually shave you down to your most beautiful state. 

On page 32, the phrase “nothing is forever” simultaneously broke me and made me hopeful for what is to come. Repetition is all about loneliness and separation and the desperate tension between feeling and being alone, but only wanting to be loved. If you say something enough, it loses its meaning (pg.32). And that can be said about the best and worst of things. If you say “I love you” enough times, it no longer has any weight, and yet, if you say “loneliness” enough times, you become numb to the pain. This truth, made me question how much of my life I have passed over, hidden away, or said enough times, in order to prevent myself from getting hurt, which made me question further if that was an actual defense to the emotions I feel? What Kaye ended his poem on gave me an entirely new perspective on time and loneliness; it is during those moments when time stutters, that we are given a new opportunity to value the words we have so long devalued. Words will always have meaning, including loneliness and separation, but more significantly love. Even though we hurt, time always provides an (albeit) painful approach to redeem words. Love will not always be a word that means nothing. Time (and even repetition) can redeem. 

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